‘To be frank, the problem here is not that you are women. As such, that is. But you persist in maintaining that you are. You see? We can’t have that.’ (MR)
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‘Mum’s are mums, Lance-Corporal. They don’t like to see men managing by themselves, in case that sort of thing catches on.’ (NW)
... it's the job of grandmothers to be happy when grandchildren give them things. (WFM)
The secret was to wear ribbons in your hair and skip everywhere. It completely fooled people. (N)
'You didn't want to be a warrior?'
'Never. It takes a woman nine months to make a new human. Why waste her effort?' (N) What were you supposed to do about girls? You had to keep away from them while you were a boy, but he'd heard that when you were a man you got other instructions. (N)
Dwarfs were said to be the keenest of financial negotiators, second only in acumen and effrontery to little old ladies. (SM)
Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it … (LF)
… she was too big to be a thief, too honest to be an assassin, too intelligent to be a wife, and too proud to enter the only other female profession generally available. (LF)
… centres of learning are almost always referred to as feminine; rather surprising considering the length of time it took for any women to get into one of them for a purpose higher than scrubbing the floors. (JD)
People like Nanny Ogg turn up everywhere. It’s as if there’s some special morphic generator dedicated to the production of old women who like a laugh and aren’t averse to the odd pint, especially of some drink normally sold in very small glasses. You find them all over the place, often in pairs. (WA)
People didn’t take any notice of little old ladies who looked as though they fitted in, and Nanny Ogg could fit in faster than a dead chicken in a maggot factory. (Ma)
... like many old ladies, Nanny Ogg was a bottomless pit for free food. (CJ)
It’s just like I’ve always said – women have always had a greater stake in technology than have men. We’d still be living in trees, otherwise. Piped water, electric lighting, stoves that you don’t need to shove wood into – I reckon that behind half the great inventors in history were their wives, nagging them into fiding a cleaner way of doing the chores. (BOS)
'Any man who interferes in the arguin' of women is gonnae find both of them jumping up and doon on him in a matter o' seconds.' (ISWM)
'The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord.'
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. 'Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.' (UA) The right tone from a woman with her arms folded always bounces an answer out of an unprepared man before he has time to think, and even before he has time to think up a lie. (UA)
… any female of any sapient species knows the look of a man who has nothing very much to do in an environment that, for this time, is clearly occupied by and totally under the control of females. It looked as though they were on guard. (UA)
Truth is female, since truth is beauty rather than handsomeness, this Ridcully reflected as the Council grumbled in, would certainly explain the saying that a lie could run around the world before Truth has got its, correction, her boots on, since she would have to choose which pair – the idea that any woman in a position to choose would have just one pair of boots being beyond rational belief. (UA)
'Why can’t women be Stationeri, then?’ said Grimma.
‘It’s a well-known fact that women can’t read,’ said Gurder. ‘It’s not their fault, of course. Apparently their brains get too hot. With the strain, you know.' (Truck) .. there was nothing you could do about a woman like that. She just turned herself into a hammer and you ran right into her.
Fortunately. (MM) The lady in the boardroom was certainly an attractive woman, but since she worked for the Times Moist felt unable to award her total ladylike status. Ladies didn’t fiendishly quote exactly what you said but didn’t exactly mean, or hit you around the ears with unexpectedly difficult questions. Well, come to think of it, they did, quite often, but she got paid for it. (MM)
... there’s no such thing as too much flattery where mothers are concerned ... (MM)
What we have here, he told himself, is a Mk1 Feisty Old Lady: turkey neck, embarrassing sense of humour, a gleeful pleasure in mild cruelty, direct way of speaking that flirts with rudeness and, more importantly, flirts with flirting. Likes to think she’s no ‘lady’. Game for anything that doesn’t carry a risk of falling over ... (MM)
old women like to know everything, or a little bit more. (W)
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