Moving his hands carefully, Dibbler opened the special section of his tray, the high-class one that contained sausages whose contents were 1) meat, 2) from a known four-footed creature, 3) probably land-dwelling. (TT)
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…Slumpie is a bit like chop suey, which is Agatean for ‘all the labels have fallen off the tins’,and you can make it out of more or less anything so long as you call it Slumpie. (NOC)
If some food wasn’t so expensive, no one would eat it. (NOC)
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, which just goes to show they’re as confused about anatomy as they gen’rally are about everything else, unless they’re talking about instructions on how to stab him, in which case a better way is up and under the ribcage. (NOC)
‘Here, a butcher can be hanged if his sausages are not all meat, and at that it must be from a named domesticated animal, and I perhaps should add that by named I do not mean that it should have been called ‘Spot’or ‘Ginger’…’ (FE)
There is suc a thing as an edible, nay delicious, meat pie floater, its mushy peas of just the right consistency, its tomato sauce piquant in its cheekiness, its pie filling tending even towards named parts of the animal. There are platonic burgers made of beef instead of cow lips and hooves. There are fish ‘n’ chips where the fish is more than just a white goo lurking at the bottom of a batter casing and you can’t use the chips to shave with. There are hot dog fillings which have more in common with meat than mere pinkness, whose lucky consumers don’t apply mustard because that
would spoil the taste.It’s just that people can be trained to prefer the other sort, and seek it out. It’s as if Machiavelli had written a cookery book. Even so, there is no excuse for putting pineapple on pizza. (LC) Any seasoned traveller soon learns to avoid anything wished on them as a‘regional speciality’, because all the term means is that dish is so unpleasant the people living everywhere else will bite off their own legs rather than eat it. (LC)
Now he remembered, with a shudder, some of the great wheezes he’d had on similar occasions. Spaghetti and custard, that’d been a good one. Deep-fried peas, that’d been another triumph. And then there’d been the time
when it had seemed a really good idea to eat some flour and yeast and then drink some warm water, because he’d run out of bread and after all that was what the stomach saw, wasn’t it? The thing about late-night cookery was that it made sense at the time. It always has some logic behind it. It just wasn’t the kind of logic you’d use around midday. (LC) Downstairs, Sybil had cooked him a meal. She wasn’t a very good cook. This was fine by Vimes, because he wasn’t a very good eater. (J)
The Curious Squid were very small, harmless, difficult to find and reckoned by connoisseurs to have the foulest taste of any creature in the world. This made them very much in demand in a certain kind of restaurant where highly skilled chefs made, with great care, dishes containing no trace of squid whatsoever. (J)
'This isn’t food. No one expects it to be food. If people wanted food they’d stay at home, isn’t that so? They come here for ambience. For the experience. This isn’t cookery, Bill. This is cuisine.’ (H)
'I'll always remember the taste of Mr Dibbler's sausages.'
‘People do.’ ‘A once-in-a-lifetime experience.’ ‘Frequently.’ (IT) ‘You ate someone?’ said Mr. Saveloy, beckoning to the waiter.
‘Just a leg.’ ‘That’s terrible!’ ‘Not with mustard.’ (IT) ‘Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage,’ he said. (MA)
Genuan cooking, like the best cooking everywhere in the multiverse, has been evolved by people who had to make desperate use of ingredients their masters didn’t want. No-one would even try a bird’s nest unless they had to. Only hunger would make a man taste his first alligator. No-one would eat a shark’s fin if they were allowed to eat the rest of the shark. (WA)
Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards. (WA)
'And I don’t hold with all this giving things funny names so people don’t know what they’re eating,’ said Granny, determined to explore the drawbacks of international cookery to the full. ‘I like stuff that tells you plain what it is, like ... well ... Bubble and Squeak, or ... or...’
‘Spotted Dick,’ said Nanny absently. (WA) ‘It’s stew. Take it or leave it. Three customers this morning have done both.' (MP)
Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler’s neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn’t know it had got. (MP)
Rincewind tried some. It was a bowl of cereal, nuts, and dried fruit. He didn’t have any quarrel with any of that. It was just that somewhere in the preparation something had apparently been done to these innocent ingredients what it takes a million gravities to do to a neutron star. If you died of eating this sort of thing they wouldn’t have to bury you, they would just need to drop you somewhere where the ground was soft. (E)
The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn’t climb out of one. (P)
There are many things to be said about cabbages. One may talk at length about their high vitamin content, their vital iron contribution, the valuable roughage and commendable food value. In the mass, however, they lack a certain something: despite their claim to immense nutritional and moral superiority over, say, daffodils, they have never been a sight to inspire the poet’s muse. Unless he was hungry, of course. (M)
… fish are always much heavier to the man who catches them. (W)
Terpsic Mims was not a dropout. He was an angler. There is a difference; angling is more expensive. (M)
The interesting thing about worrying about things, thought Johnny Maxwell, was the way there was always something new to worry about. (JB)
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