Terry Pratchett quotes by subject - Chris Jones

Complete collection of Terry Pratchett quotes by subject and cross-referenced

Morality - Terry Pratchett quote

1/16/2017

And they acted like savages*.
* Again, when people like Mrs Whitlow use this term they are not, for some inexplicable reason, trying to suggest that the subjects have a rich oral tradition, a complex system of tribal rights and a deep respect for the spirits of their ancestors. They are implying the kind of behaviour more generally associated, oddly enough, with people wearing a full suit of clothes, often with the same insignia. (LC)

Poetry - Terry Pratchett quote

1/21/2012

'All her clothes might fall off. I am sorry about this, but it appears to be a by-product of the whole business of poetry.' (UA)

Stupidity - Terry Pratchett quote

1/21/2012

'… they ranged in size from unpleasantly large to disgustingly small, had about the same level of culture as yoghurt and spent their time picking their own noses and missing.' (UA)

Religion - Terry Pratchett quote

1/7/2012

He could, though, just make out a miniature replica of Cori Celesti, upon whose utter peak the world’s quarrelsome and
somewhat bourgeois gods lived in a palace of marble, alabaster and uncut moquette three piece suites they had chosen to call Dunmanifestin. It was always a considerable annoyance to any Disc citizen with pretensions to culture that they were ruled by gods whose idea of an uplifting artistic experience was a musical doorbell. (LF)

Music - Terry Pratchett quote

1/3/2012

'Well, basically there are two sorts of opera,’ said Nanny, who also had the true witch’s ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. ‘There’s your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like “Oh oh oh, I am dyin’, oh, I am dyin’, oh, oh, oh, that’s what I’m doin’” and there’s your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes “Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!” although sometimes they drink champagne instead.  That’s basically all of opera, reely.’
‘What?  Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’
‘Basically, yes,’ said Nanny, contriving to suggest that this was the whole gamut of human experience.
‘And that’s opera?’
‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff.  But mostly it’s stout or stabbin’.' (Ma)

Music - Terry Pratchett quote

1/3/2012

'Honestly, Salzella ... what is the difference between opera and madness?’
‘Is this a trick question?’
‘No!’
‘Then I’d say: better scenery.' (Ma)

Music - Terry Pratchett quote

1/3/2012

'You mean you just see things that are really there?’ he said. ‘I can see you haven’t been with the opera for long,
dear.' (Ma)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

'The Arts are not my field,’ he added, in a way that suggested his was a pretty superior field with much better flowers in
it. (MM)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

... ballet had to be Art even though it was a bit short on plinths and urns, on account of it being expensive to look at ... (Th)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

He knew in his heart that spinning upside down around a pole wearing a costume you could floss with definitely was not
Art, and being painted lying on a bed wearing nothing but a smile and a small bunch of grapes was good solid Art, but putting your finger on why this was the case was a bit tricky. (Th)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

... it was always nice to look at the pictures of big pink women with no clothes on. (Th)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

'Art’s for slackers!' (G)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

... the common people of the city had a keen eye for works like Caravati’s Three Large Pink Women and One Piece of Gauze or Mauvaise’s Man with Big Figleaf ... (TOT)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

He was a man who tried to see the best in everybody, but the city had got rather complicated since he was a boy, with dwarfs and trolls and golems and even zombies. He wasn’t sure he liked everything that was happening, but a lot of it was ‘cultural’, apparently, and you couldn’t object to that, so he didn’t. ‘Cultural’ sort of solved problems by explaining that they weren’t really there. (TOT)

Culture - Terry Pratchett quote

9/25/2011

'Fine Art. It’s just men paintin’ pictures of young wimmin in the nudd. The altogether,’explained Colon the connoisseur. ‘The caretaker told me. Some of them don’t even have any paint on their brushes, you know.' (GG)

All the published works of Terry Pratchett, including Discworld and non-Discworld novels is included in this quotes by subject listing