... the art of cuisine is to make something out of nothing and charge a lot of money doing it... (NOC)
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... it isn’t cookery books that are needed half so much as cooks who know what they are doing and can make a meal out of anything. (NOC)
Dibbler’s pies quite often looked appetising. Therein lay their one and only charm. (NW)
Washing-up is a badge of membership anywhere. (Ma)
Sham Harga had run a successful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realising that most of his customers want meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits. (MA)
A good cook is always the first one into the kitchen every morning and the last one to go home at night. (WA)
Magrat took a cake by its little case rather carefully. Some of Nanny Ogg’s recipes could include …. unusual ingredients, and she already had three children. (SC)
It appears to be a fact of life that if two or more well-born ladies should gather together, cupcake are essential. Otherwise the ceiling might fall on them. (SC)
“Somebody had to taste the first snail.” (SC)
It’s a rule of the known universe that every kitchen in the world anywhere has a box of glace cherries hiding somewhere in it. No one knows why. (DCC)
Sam Vimes was an uncomplicated man when it came to what poets called ‘the lists of love’. He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination – but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato. (FE)
'I’ve got nothing against men. Quite the contrary. But they can’t cook. Oh, they can cuisine like no one’s business. Put them in some huge kitchen with dozens of chefs and skivvies to shout at and they can manage to fry an egg and arrange it delicately on the plate with sprigs of this and that on a bed of somethin’vaguely sinister, but ask them to serve up meals every day to a huge bunch of hungry kids on a budget of sixpence and they’ll have a bit of a headache. I daresay there are men who can manage it, but usually when I hear someone say that a husband cooks, I generally reckon it means he’s got a recipe for something expensive and he does it twice a year. And then leaves the pans in the sink ‘to soak’. (NOC)
No trouble is too much if it saves some excellent chefs from extinction. (DW)
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman. (MR)
…Slumpie is a bit like chop suey, which is Agatean for ‘all the labels have fallen off the tins’,and you can make it out of more or less anything so long as you call it Slumpie. (NOC)
Any seasoned traveller soon learns to avoid anything wished on them as a‘regional speciality’, because all the term means is that dish is so unpleasant the people living everywhere else will bite off their own legs rather than eat it. (LC)
Downstairs, Sybil had cooked him a meal. She wasn’t a very good cook. This was fine by Vimes, because he wasn’t a very good eater. (J)
The Curious Squid were very small, harmless, difficult to find and reckoned by connoisseurs to have the foulest taste of any creature in the world. This made them very much in demand in a certain kind of restaurant where highly skilled chefs made, with great care, dishes containing no trace of squid whatsoever. (J)
'This isn’t food. No one expects it to be food. If people wanted food they’d stay at home, isn’t that so? They come here for ambience. For the experience. This isn’t cookery, Bill. This is cuisine.’ (H)
Genuan cooking, like the best cooking everywhere in the multiverse, has been evolved by people who had to make desperate use of ingredients their masters didn’t want. No-one would even try a bird’s nest unless they had to. Only hunger would make a man taste his first alligator. No-one would eat a shark’s fin if they were allowed to eat the rest of the shark. (WA)
Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards. (WA)
'And I don’t hold with all this giving things funny names so people don’t know what they’re eating,’ said Granny, determined to explore the drawbacks of international cookery to the full. ‘I like stuff that tells you plain what it is, like ... well ... Bubble and Squeak, or ... or...’
‘Spotted Dick,’ said Nanny absently. (WA) Victor eyed the glistening tubes in the tray around Dibbler’s neck. They smelled appetizing. They always did. And then you bit into them, and learned once again that Cut-me-own-Throat Dibbler could find a use for bits of an animal that the animal didn’t know it had got. (MP)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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