… what good is a snooker room without smoke twisting among the lights and turning the air a desolate blue, the colour of dead hopes and lost chances? (Sn)
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… you could forgive anyone who could score from the centre spot … (Sn)
You could fish in the River Ankh, provided you took care not to catch anything. In fact it was amazing what you could catch by just letting one drop of the Ankh pass you lips. (Sn)
'This is football, Mister Shank, it's all weird kids' stuff.' (UA)
'We are going to stick to the rules. And the thing about sticking to the rules is that it's sometimes better than cheating.' (UA)
'It does look as if football is very much like diplomacy: short periods of fighting followed by long periods of negotiation.' (UA)
'You see, the thing about football is that it is not just about football.' (UA)
'Pick the teams alternately so one of you ends up with the weird kid and the other with the fat kid. Some of the fastest mathematics of all time has been achieved by team captains trying not to end up with the weird kid …' (UA)
Wizards were competitive. It was part of wizardry. Wizards have no more idea of a friendly game than cats have of a friendly mouse. (UA)
'In any case the rules don't concern us at this point. We have to play the game in any eventuality and so we will abide by them in the best traditions of sportsmanship until we have worked out where they may be most usefully broken to our advantage'. (UA)
'University Council at the time took the decent view that it might be the moment for a leader who was not stupid, mad or dead. Admittedly, most of these are not exactly qualifications in the normal sense, but I like to think that the skill of leadership, tactics and creative cheating that I learned on the river stood me in good stead.' (UA)
'Are you seriously suggesting that we give out degrees for mere physical prowess?' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies.
'No, of course not. I am seriously suggesting that we give out degrees for extreme physical prowess.' (UA) ... the world was overwhelmingly full of things that were more interesting than cricket. (N)
... when it comes to voting or fishing, sea bass usually wins. (N)
... Ridcully the Brown did speak to the birds. In fact he shouted at birds, and what he normally shouted was ‘Winged you, yer bastard!' (MP)
'I believe it’s very hard to have fun in Iceland without fish being involved in some way.' (JD)
'I never sacrifice a pawn,’ said the Lady.
‘How can you hope to win without sacrificing the occasional pawn?’ ‘Oh, I never play to win.’ She smiled. ‘But I do play not to lose.' (IT) Rocky was supplying some sports news, and while it was unreadable to William he put it in on the basis that anyone keen on sport probably couldn’t read. (TT)
A good way to survive on the playing fields of Hugglestones was to run very fast and shout a lot while inexplicably always being a long way from the ball. This had earned him, oddly enough, a reputation for being keen, and keenness was highly prized at Hugglestones, if only because actual achievement was so rare. The staff at Hugglestones believed that in sufficient quantities ‘being keen’ could take the place of lesser attributes like intelligence, foresight and training. (TT)
In fact no gods anywhere play chess. They haven’t got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god’s idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs. (WS)
So long as he caught nothing Terpsic Mims was one of the Disc’s happiest anglers, because the Hakrull river was five miles from his home and therefore five miles from Mrs Gwladys Mims, with whom he had enjoyed six happy months of married life. That had been some twenty years previously. (M)
Lu-Tze had long considered that everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. (TOT)
'By gor’, that’s a bloody enormous cat.’
'It’s a lion,’ said Granny Weatherwax, looking at the stuffed head over the fireplace. ‘Must’ve hit the wall at a hell of a speed, whatever it was,’ said Nanny Ogg. ‘Someone killed it,’ said Granny Weatherwax, surveying the room. ‘Should think so,’ said Nanny. ‘If I’d seen something like that eatin’ its way through the wall I’d of hit it myself with a poker.' (WA) Mustrum Ridcully did a lot for rare species. For one thing, he kept them rare. (LL)
'I used to be good at tiddley-rats* when I was a nipper ...'
*A famous Ankh-Morpork gutter game, second only to Dead Rat conkers. Turd Races in the gutter appear to have died out, despite an attempt to take them upmarket with the name poosticks. (Th) |
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