As a general rule, he avoided getting to know the students, since he felt they were a tedious interruption to the proper running of college life. (SD)
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'If only we had laboratories to produce self-replicating scientists, to explore all the worlds. Ah, but we do! They're called university campuses.' (LW)
Ponder Stibbons had once got one hundred percent in a prescience exam by getting there the previous day. (UA)
'If all else fails, we will find volunteers from the student body,' said Ridcully.
'Corpse might be a better word.' (UA) '… trying to be nice to students means you end up with courses like comparative fretwork and graduates who think 'thank you' is one word and can look at a sign sayin' 'Human Resources Department' without detecting a whiff of brimstone.' (CCODD)
'… my door is always metaphorically open.'
'Metaphorically, sir?' said Stibbons. 'Yes,' said the Dean. 'But technically, of course, it's locked. Good grief, you don't want 'em just turning up.' (CCODD) The other trainees laughed in the nervous, tittering way of people who’ve seen someone else attract the teacher’s attention and are glad it isn’t them. (AM)
'How do we usually test stuff?’
‘Generally we ask for student volunteers,’ said the Dean. ‘What happens if we don’t get any?’ ‘We give it to them anyway.’ ‘Isn’t that a bit unethical?’ ‘Not if we don’t tell them, Archchancellor.’ ‘Ah, good point.' (H) Hex had mastered the secret of osmotic reading, normally only every attempted by students. (DW)
The senior wizards trod carefully in the High Energy Magic Building, partly because it wasn’t their natural habitat, but also because most of the students who frequented it used the floor as a filing cabinet and, distressing, a larder. Pizza is quite hard to remove from a sole, especially the cheese. (DW)
The problem, of course, was the frogs. Not rains of frogs, which were uncommon now in Ankh-Morpork, but specifically foreign treefrogs from the humid jungles of Klatch. They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn’t be too much education wasted. (TT)
'But we’re a university! We have to have a library!’ said Ridcully. ‘It adds tone. What sort of people would we be if we
didn’t go into the Library?’ ‘Students,’ said the Senior Wrangler morosely. (LC) The unofficial entrance to the University has always been known only to students. What most students failed to remember was that the senior members of the faculty had also been students once, and also liked to get out and about after the official shutting of the gates. This naturally led to a certain amount of embarrassment and diplomacy on dark
evenings. (J) ... therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason. (IT)
Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.
The system worked quite well and, as happens in such cases, had taken on the status of tradition. Lectures clearly took place, because they were down there on the timetable in black and white. The fact that no-one attended was an irrelevant detail. It was occasionally maintained that this meant that the lectures did not in fact happen at all, but no-one ever attended them to find out if this was true. Anyway, it was argued (by the Reader in Woolly Thinking – which is like Fuzzy Logic, only less so) that lectures had taken place in essence, so that was all right, too. (IT) The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species ‘female’ but have never expected to get this close to one. (SM)
'Students?'
‘Er. Yes?’ said Ponder, backing away. ‘That’s all right, isn’t it? I mean, this is a university…’ Ridcully scratched his ear. The man was right of course. You had to have some of the buggers around, there was no getting away from it. Personally, he avoided them whenever possible, as did the rest of the faculty, occasionally running the other way or hiding behind doors whenever they saw them. The Lecturer in Recent Runes had been known to lock himself in his wardrobe rather than take a tutorial. (SM) 'Students?' barked the Archchancellor.
‘Yes, Master. You know? They’re the thinner ones with the pale faces? Because we’re a university? They come with the whole thing, like rats-’ (SM) |
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