Girls on the Chalk didn’t often run away from a young man who was rich enough to own his own horse – or not for long and not without giving him a chance to catch up. (W)
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'... do not become a strumpet like Mrs Ogg,’said Miss Treason.
‘I’m not very musical,’ said Tiffany uncertainly. (W) '... young lady wearing two sequins and a bootlace comes up and says she’s a friend of yours! I did not know where to put my face!’
‘You’re not supposed to put it anywhere, sarge. They throw you out for that sort of thing,’ said Nobby. (Th) 'He was “pressing his suit” in no small way, was he not?’
‘He didn’t have ironing in mind, sir!’ said Polly fervently. (MR) Lu-Tze when they found him, was looking calmly up at an enormous mammoth. Under its huge hairy brow its eyes were squinting with the effort both of seeing him and of getting all three of its brain cells lines up so that it could decide whether to trample on him or gouge him out of the frost-bound landscape. One brain cell was saying ‘gouge’, one was going for ‘trample’ but the third had wandered off and was thinking about as much sex as possible. (TOT)
... Mrs Ogg has a very vague attitude to lengths except in humorously anatomical areas. (NOC)
It wasn’t that the dwarfs ignored sex, it really didn’t seem important to them. If humans thought the same way, his job would be a lot simpler. (FE)
Sam Vimes was an uncomplicated man when it came to what poets called ‘the lists of love’. He’d noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination – but at the end of the day they’d settle quite happily for egg and chips, if it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato. (FE)
'Gaspode’s the name,’ barked Gaspode, with insane cheerfulness. ‘‘m a dog. That’s a kind of wolf, sort of thing. So, what’s your name, then?'
‘Go avay.’ ‘No offence meant. ‘ere, I heard tell wolves mate for life, right?’ ‘Vell?’ ‘Wish I could.' (FE) 'You mean just because she’s a woman she should use sexual wiles on him?’ said Magrat. ‘This is so ... so ... well, it’s so Nanny Ogg, that’s all I can say.’
‘She should use any wile she can lay her hands on,’said Nanny. (CJ) Nanny could find an innuendo in ‘Good morning.’ She could certainly find one in ‘innuendo.' (CJ)
Attractive men were not in plentiful supply in Lancre, where licking your hand and smoothing your hair down before taking a girl out was considered swanky. (CJ)
Nanny Ogg's wild youth was an open book, although only available in plain covers. (SLF)
'The only thing I think I don’t quite understand,’ he said, ‘is why any creature would want to spend time on all this...’he peered at his notes, ‘this sex, when they could be enjoying themselves ...' (LC)
She was aware that she had a slight advantage over male werewolves in that naked women caused fewer complaints, although the downside was that they got some pressing invitations. Some kind of covering was essential, for modesty and the prevention of inconvenient bouncing, which was why fashioning impromptu clothes out of anything to hand was a lesser-known werewolf skill. (J)
Greebo could, in fact, commit sexual harassment simply by sitting very quietly in the next room. (Ma)
Most people in Lancre, as the saying goes, went to bed with the chickens and got up with the cows.*
*Er. That is to say, they went to bed at the same time as the chickens went to bed, and got up at the same time as the cows got up. Loosely worded sayings can really cause misunderstandings. (Ma) 'Gytha, is there anything in the whole world you can’t make sound grubby?’
‘Not found it yet, Esme,’ said Nanny brightly. (Ma) Mr. Flannel looked Angua up and down. Men seldom missed the opportunity. (MA)
Food as an aphrodisiac was not a concept that had ever caught on in Lancre, apart from Nanny Ogg’s famous Carrot and Oyster Pie.*
*Carrots so you can see in the dark, she’d explain, and oysters so’s you’ve got something to look at. (LL) 'Our stars are entwined,’ said Casanunda. ‘We’re fated for one another. I wants your body, Mrs. Ogg.’
‘I’m still using it.' (LL) 'Any relation to Sobriety Ogg?’
‘He was my dad, sir.’ ‘Good grief. Old Sobriety’s son? Howis the old devil?’ ‘Dunno, sir, what with him being dead.’ ‘Oh dear. How long ago?’ ‘These past thirty years,’ said Shawn. ‘But you don’t look any older than twen-’ Ponder began. Ridcully elbowed him sharply in the ribcage. ‘This is the countryside,’ he hissed. ‘People do things differently here. And more often.' (LL) Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck. (LL)
'I’m a world-famous liar.’
‘Is that true?’ ‘No.’ ‘What about you being the world’s greatest lover?’ There was silence for a while. ‘Well maybe I’m only No. 2,’ said Casanunda. ‘But I try harder.' (WA) 'My name’s Casanunda,’ he said. ‘I’m reputed to be the world’s greatest lover. What do you think?’
Nanny Ogg looked him up and down or, at least, down and further down. ‘You’re a dwarf,’ she said. ‘Size isn’t important.' (WA) |
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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