‘Are you sure?’
‘There’re still some around, aren’t there? (TT)
Complete collection of Terry Pratchett quotes by subject and cross-referenced
'Hold on, hold on, there must be a law against killing lawyers.’
‘Are you sure?’ ‘There’re still some around, aren’t there? (TT)
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In this he was echoing the Patrician’s view of crime and punishment. If there was crime, there should be punishment.
If the specific criminal should be involved in the punishment process then this was a happy accident, but if not then any criminal would do, and since everyone was undoubtedly guilty of something, the net result was that, in general terms, justice was done. (MA) Whoever said you can’t fool an honest man wasn’t one. (MM)
Rob looked innocent, a sure sign of guilt. (W)
'I am convinced of your innocence, of course.’
‘Really? Me too,’ growled Vimes. ‘In fact I’m so convinced of my innocence I don’t even know what it is I’m innocent of!' (FE) '... and then Jack chopped down the beanstalk, adding murder and ecological vandalism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned, but he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done. Which proves that you can be excused just about anything if you’re a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.' (H)
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, which just goes to show they’re as confused about anatomy as they gen’rally are about everything else, unless they’re talking about instructions on how to stab him, in which case a better way is up and under the ribcage. (NOC)
‘Here, a butcher can be hanged if his sausages are not all meat, and at that it must be from a named domesticated animal, and I perhaps should add that by named I do not mean that it should have been called ‘Spot’or ‘Ginger’…’ (FE)
There were people who’d steal money from people. Fair enough. That was just theft. But there were people who, with one easy word, would steal the humanity from people. That was something else. (MA)
Say what you like about the people of Ankh-Morpork, they had always been staunchly independent, yielding to no man their right to rob, defraud, embezzle and murder on an equal basis. This seemed absolute right, to Vimes’s way of thinking. There was no difference at all between the richest man and the poorest beggar, apart from the fact that the former had lots of money, food, power, fine clothes, and good health. But at least he wasn’t any better. (GG)
The Hashishim, who derived their name from the vast quantities of hashish they consumed, were unique among vicious killers in being both deadly and, at the same time, inclined to giggle, groove to interesting patterns of light and shade on their terrible knife blades and, in extreme cases, fall over. (S)
He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where ‘traditional values’ meant ‘hang someone’. (TT)
'I call it highly suspicious, being dead like that. He’s been drinking, too. We could do him for being dead and disorderly.' (TOC)
It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man would have been
happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training. (TOC) It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive, you could get death for free. (P)
In some parts of the city curiosity didn’t just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to its feet. (S)
All the way to Genua there were people who’d been duped, fooled, swindled and cheated by that face. The only thing he hadn’t done was hornswoggle, and that was only because he hadn’t found out how to. (MM)
It’s amazing what you can do with a little charm and a lot of blackmail. (NOC)
Good and bad were, to Nobby’s way of thinking, entirely relative terms. Most of his relatives, for example, were criminals. (H)
'You really intend to prefer charges?’
‘I’d prefer violence,’ said Vimes loudly. ‘Charges is what I’m going to have to settle for.' (FC) Chrysoprase had been a very quick learner when he arrived in Ankh-Morpork. He began with an important lesson: hitting people was thuggery. Paying other people to do the hitting on your behalf was good business. (SM)
'Well, Nobby, you’re what I might call a career soldier, right?’
‘‘S’right, Fred.’ ‘How many dishonourable discharges have you had?’ ‘Lots,’ said Nobby, proudly. ‘But I always puts a poultice on ‘em.' (MA) Do you think there’s such a thing as a criminal mind?’
Carrot almost audibly tried to work it out. ‘What ... you mean like ... Mr Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, sir?’ ‘He’s not a criminal.’ ‘You have eaten one of his pies, sir? (MA) Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpork, but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of The Shades was suicide. Asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide. Saying ‘Got rocks in your head?’to a troll was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren’t careful. (MA)
Corporal Nobbs had chalked the outline of the corpse on the ground (colouring it in, and adding a pipe and a walking stick and some trees and bushes in the background – people had already dropped 7p in his helmet). (TOC)
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