'Ach, people’re always telling us no’ tae do things,’said Rob Anybody. ‘That’s how we ken what’s the most interestin’ things tae do!' (W)
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They were, after all, wizards. That meant that if they saw something, they prodded it. If it wobbled they prodded it some more. If you built a guillotine, and then put a sign on it saying ‘Do Not Put Your Neck On This Block’, many wizards would never have to buy a hat again. (SODW)
Any true wizard, faced with a sign like ‘Do not open this door. Really. We mean it. We’re not kidding. Opening
the door will mean the end of the universe,’ would automatically open the door in order to see what all the fuss was about. (LC) Nanny Ogg would try anything once. Some things she’d try several thousand times. (WA)
In some parts of the city curiosity didn’t just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to its feet. (S)
'The Arts are not my field,’ he added, in a way that suggested his was a pretty superior field with much better flowers in
it. (MM) ... ballet had to be Art even though it was a bit short on plinths and urns, on account of it being expensive to look at ... (Th)
He knew in his heart that spinning upside down around a pole wearing a costume you could floss with definitely was not
Art, and being painted lying on a bed wearing nothing but a smile and a small bunch of grapes was good solid Art, but putting your finger on why this was the case was a bit tricky. (Th) ... it was always nice to look at the pictures of big pink women with no clothes on. (Th)
... the common people of the city had a keen eye for works like Caravati’s Three Large Pink Women and One Piece of Gauze or Mauvaise’s Man with Big Figleaf ... (TOT)
He was a man who tried to see the best in everybody, but the city had got rather complicated since he was a boy, with dwarfs and trolls and golems and even zombies. He wasn’t sure he liked everything that was happening, but a lot of it was ‘cultural’, apparently, and you couldn’t object to that, so he didn’t. ‘Cultural’ sort of solved problems by explaining that they weren’t really there. (TOT)
'Fine Art. It’s just men paintin’ pictures of young wimmin in the nudd. The altogether,’explained Colon the connoisseur. ‘The caretaker told me. Some of them don’t even have any paint on their brushes, you know.' (GG)
All the way to Genua there were people who’d been duped, fooled, swindled and cheated by that face. The only thing he hadn’t done was hornswoggle, and that was only because he hadn’t found out how to. (MM)
Witches didn’t need to slap the stupid, not when they had a sharp tongue that was always ready. (W)
'I don’t mind criticism,’ said Granny. ‘You know me. I’ve never been one to take offence at criticism. No-one could say I’m the sort to take offence at criticism -’
‘Not twice, anyway,’ said Nanny. (WA) It’s amazing what you can do with a little charm and a lot of blackmail. (NOC)
Good and bad were, to Nobby’s way of thinking, entirely relative terms. Most of his relatives, for example, were criminals. (H)
'You really intend to prefer charges?’
‘I’d prefer violence,’ said Vimes loudly. ‘Charges is what I’m going to have to settle for.' (FC) Chrysoprase had been a very quick learner when he arrived in Ankh-Morpork. He began with an important lesson: hitting people was thuggery. Paying other people to do the hitting on your behalf was good business. (SM)
'Well, Nobby, you’re what I might call a career soldier, right?’
‘‘S’right, Fred.’ ‘How many dishonourable discharges have you had?’ ‘Lots,’ said Nobby, proudly. ‘But I always puts a poultice on ‘em.' (MA) Do you think there’s such a thing as a criminal mind?’
Carrot almost audibly tried to work it out. ‘What ... you mean like ... Mr Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, sir?’ ‘He’s not a criminal.’ ‘You have eaten one of his pies, sir? (MA) Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in Ankh-Morpork, but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of The Shades was suicide. Asking for a short in a dwarf bar was suicide. Saying ‘Got rocks in your head?’to a troll was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren’t careful. (MA)
Corporal Nobbs had chalked the outline of the corpse on the ground (colouring it in, and adding a pipe and a walking stick and some trees and bushes in the background – people had already dropped 7p in his helmet). (TOC)
'Animals can’t murder. Only us superior races can murder. That’s one of the things that sets us apart from animals.' (LL)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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