‘Aristocrats don’t notice philosophical conundra. They just ignore them. Philosophy includes contemplating the possibility that you might be wrong, sir, and a real aristocrat knows that he is always right. It’s not vanity, you understand, it’s built-in absolute certainty. They may sometimes be as mad as a hatful of spoons, but they are always definitely and certainly mad.’ (Sn)
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You could fish in the River Ankh, provided you took care not to catch anything. In fact it was amazing what you could catch by just letting one drop of the Ankh pass you lips. (Sn)
Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way, Drumknott. It’s good for the hygiene of the brain.’ (Sn)
There was no point in arguing with Sybil, because even if you thought you’d won, it would turn out, by some magic unavailable to husbands, that you had, in fact, been totally misinformed. (Sn)
Why did they never find a vegetable that was bad for you, hey? And what was so wrong with onion gravy anyway? It has onions in it didn’t it? They made you fart, didn’t they? That was good for you, wasn’t it? He was sure he had read that somewhere. (Sn)
‘Do you know why it’s called the countryside, Carrot? Because there’s bloody nothing there except damn trees, which we’re supposed to make a fuss about, but really they’re just stiff weeds!’ (Sn)
'The place where we look for witches is at the centre of things.' (ISWM)
It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. And if you don't know where you are going, you're probably going wrong. (ISWM)
My job is to make things up, and the best way to make things up is to make them out of real things … (ISWM)
'You've taken the first step.'
'There's a second step?' said Tiffany. 'No; there's another first step. Every step is a first step if it's a step in the right direction.' (ISWM) … one day all of us will die but – a this is the important thing – we are not dead yet. (ISWM)
… where they had gone wrong was in believing, somewhere in their minds, that because two things were different, they must therefore be alike. (ISWM)
'I was unfortunately born clever, miss, and I've learned that sometimes it's not such a good idea to be all that clever.' (ISWM)
… you didn't need to grind the faces of the poor if you taught them to do their own grinding. (ISWM)
… generally speaking the Feegles got you out of trouble by getting you into a different kind of trouble. (ISWM)
'The Nac Mac Feegle feel the truth is so precious that it shouldn't be waved about too much …' (ISWM)
'Have you boys got no shame?'
Rob Anybody matched him grin for grin. 'I couldnae say,' he replied, but if we have, it probably belonged tae somebody else.' (ISWM) '… we did invent the deep-fried stoat. That must count for something.'
'How is that a good point?' said Arthur. 'Weel, it saves some other poor devil having tae do it. It's what ye might call a taste explosion; ye take a mouthful, taste it, and then there is an explosion.' (ISWM) '… there are times when promises should be kept and times when promises should be broken, and it takes a Feegle to know the difference.' (ISWM)
'Sometimes what is legal isn't what is right, and sometimes it needs a witch to tell the difference. And sometimes a copper too, if you have the right kind of copper. Clever people know this. Stupid people don't. And the trouble is, stupid people can be oh so clever.' (ISWM)
'And though nobody's saying it, we're locked in here for our protection. You see, everyone else is locked out, and although they sometimes act dumb, policemen can't help being clever. They know that people need witches, they need the unofficial people who understand the difference between right and wrong, and when right is wrong and when wrong is right.' (ISWM)
'Poison goes where poison's welcome.' (ISWM)
'Any man who interferes in the arguin' of women is gonnae find both of them jumping up and doon on him in a matter o' seconds.' (ISWM)
… only blonde and blue-eyed girls could get the prince and wear the glittering crown. It was built into the world. Even worse, it was built into your hair colouring. Redheads and brunettes sometimes got more than a walk-on part in the land of the story, but if all you had was a rather mousy shade of brown hair you were marked down to be a serving girl. (ISWM)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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