If you really feel stupid, remember that an ex-President of the US once said “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” Does that make you feel a little bit better? Or possibly a little bit worse?
I’m beginning to think I made a stupid choice. I was expecting the commune to be about sharing, mother earth, equality, inner peace and probably hobbits. Sadly, the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster Commune is not that kind of commune.
Oh, they do believe in sharing. First day I got to share all my money. I’d have left on the second day but, after some sort of medicinal herb drink they gave me, I slept in and by the time I woke up my car had been “shared”. I haven’t seen it since. They tell me it ran off and joined the wild bush combies but I have my doubts.
So, let me tell you about the commune members. There’s Lillipilli Gumnutblossom. She used to belong to Greenpeace until they threw her out for being too alternate. Now that’s an achievement. Mind you, you can probably see why. Some women wear flowers in their hair, Lillipili has a small bush in hers, possibly a grevillea, complete with nesting parrots.
Then there’s Agnetha and Anni-Frid. The love twins, or so they claim. To be honest they are about as likely to be twins as Arnie and Danny were. And, disturbingly, they’re not that different in looks from them either. I’m thinking that if this was the Garden of Eden and they were the Eve options the human race wouldn’t have cleared the first hurdle.
The leader is Trevor, self-proclaimed anarchist. As far as I can tell, all this means is that he doesn’t clean up after himself. He is also “taking a stand” against western civilisation. He says society is built on junk food and we must resist it. To steel our resolve he makes sure to eat a large chocolate bar in front of us every day. He says he’s making the ultimate sacrifice. I think he’s the ultimate tool.
Trevor, thanks to his mission, is sufficiently rotund to avoid beaches in case people try and drag him back into deep water, but I can understand why the others are skinny. I knew communes live off the soil, but at the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster Commune dirt appears to be a major part of the diet. The vegie patch contains a few scrawny dead things and one pumpkin vine. Even they couldn’t kill that. So far meals have consisted of Rustic Pumpkin Delight (pumpkin with a dirt coulis), Pumpkin Soup (boiling water and pumpkin), Mock Pumpkin Soup (boiling water without pumpkin) and Pumpkin, Peanut Butter and Dirt Surprise (this was a lot more surprising than even the name suggested).
Everybody is equal here but Trevor says some are more equal than others. He’s definitely tosser material.
Tonight Trevor tells me I’ve earned the right to share in a special ceremony. I must confess to having some reservations. I think it will involve someone being stoned and I’ve seen Monty Python’s Life of Brian enough times to know this may not end well. I’ll try not to say Jehovah.
Then tomorrow we will go and see their yogi.
If it doesn’t get better I’m leaving.
Maybe if there’d been hobbits things would have been different.
Don’t forget the cause:
https://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
I’m beginning to think I made a stupid choice. I was expecting the commune to be about sharing, mother earth, equality, inner peace and probably hobbits. Sadly, the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster Commune is not that kind of commune.
Oh, they do believe in sharing. First day I got to share all my money. I’d have left on the second day but, after some sort of medicinal herb drink they gave me, I slept in and by the time I woke up my car had been “shared”. I haven’t seen it since. They tell me it ran off and joined the wild bush combies but I have my doubts.
So, let me tell you about the commune members. There’s Lillipilli Gumnutblossom. She used to belong to Greenpeace until they threw her out for being too alternate. Now that’s an achievement. Mind you, you can probably see why. Some women wear flowers in their hair, Lillipili has a small bush in hers, possibly a grevillea, complete with nesting parrots.
Then there’s Agnetha and Anni-Frid. The love twins, or so they claim. To be honest they are about as likely to be twins as Arnie and Danny were. And, disturbingly, they’re not that different in looks from them either. I’m thinking that if this was the Garden of Eden and they were the Eve options the human race wouldn’t have cleared the first hurdle.
The leader is Trevor, self-proclaimed anarchist. As far as I can tell, all this means is that he doesn’t clean up after himself. He is also “taking a stand” against western civilisation. He says society is built on junk food and we must resist it. To steel our resolve he makes sure to eat a large chocolate bar in front of us every day. He says he’s making the ultimate sacrifice. I think he’s the ultimate tool.
Trevor, thanks to his mission, is sufficiently rotund to avoid beaches in case people try and drag him back into deep water, but I can understand why the others are skinny. I knew communes live off the soil, but at the Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster Commune dirt appears to be a major part of the diet. The vegie patch contains a few scrawny dead things and one pumpkin vine. Even they couldn’t kill that. So far meals have consisted of Rustic Pumpkin Delight (pumpkin with a dirt coulis), Pumpkin Soup (boiling water and pumpkin), Mock Pumpkin Soup (boiling water without pumpkin) and Pumpkin, Peanut Butter and Dirt Surprise (this was a lot more surprising than even the name suggested).
Everybody is equal here but Trevor says some are more equal than others. He’s definitely tosser material.
Tonight Trevor tells me I’ve earned the right to share in a special ceremony. I must confess to having some reservations. I think it will involve someone being stoned and I’ve seen Monty Python’s Life of Brian enough times to know this may not end well. I’ll try not to say Jehovah.
Then tomorrow we will go and see their yogi.
If it doesn’t get better I’m leaving.
Maybe if there’d been hobbits things would have been different.
Don’t forget the cause:
https://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
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