It’s been a week now since I started my dieting and exercise regime and I can’t say it’s been a raging success. Well, raging yes, success no.
I thought I’d give the colour diet ago, and for the heck-of-it I’d try my own colour. I’ve always had a bit of sympathy for the colour brown – a general all-round loser. Doesn’t sound nice, doesn’t look nice and it can be associated with unpleasantness. So, I thought – why not?
This was a particularly poor decision. Perhaps unwisely I focussed largely on lentils and a range of other legumes of that ilk. As a consequence, I spent a significant part of the past week suffering from a remarkably explosive case of wind. The lowlight came when I opted for a lentil curry. It turns out that cotton sheets can really be quite flammable. I spent a few nights sleeping in the guest room after that, I can tell you.
I’ve combine my diet with vigorous walking, which means I get to see a lot other vigorous walkers. The funny thing is that none of them ever seem to see the wonder of the world around them, and they certainly don’t smile. I’ve tried smiling back at them, but they just walk faster. This might be because during my brown diet phase the action of walking (and even smiling) did tend to bring on excessive bouts of flatulence that could last for some time. But surely, that wouldn’t put people off?
Then there are the side effects. Unless it’s normal for the world to often go purple. Maybe it is. Maybe that happens to everybody and I never knew. What about past lives flashing before your eyes? Gotta say some of them were quite interesting. Hard to believe there are lifestyles that are more exciting than being a librarian, but there you go. I’m particularly disturbed by a recent tendency to believe what politicians say is true and I’m even finding myself thinking Christopher Pine may not be all that bad. I’m pretty sure that is a seriously unhealthy side-effect.
I’ve either got a deficiency of something, or an excess. I’ve tried reading the names of some of things on packets and you do have to wonder. There’s BHA and BHT, aspartame, tartrazine, pollywollydoodlezine. I’m beginning to think that the food industry doesn’t really want me to know what’s in things. Nah, surely not.
I got breath-tested yesterday. Really. Made me laugh, at first. What a waste of taxpayer’s money, I thought. But then I realised that it was plot. That somebody out there didn’t believe I was clean and had tried to catch me out! I’m going to find out who you are, you know I will!!
One last thought – if we shape our world by what we perceive how does a madman know he’s really mad? And is he really the mad one?
You know the drill. If you want to help me through this and do good things for youth on the streets and people battle drug and alcoholic addiction head to following link and make a donation. It’ll make you feel good and, sure as eggs, it will make a hellofa difference to somebody’s life.
http://my.febfast.org/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=685940&langPref=en-CA
I thought I’d give the colour diet ago, and for the heck-of-it I’d try my own colour. I’ve always had a bit of sympathy for the colour brown – a general all-round loser. Doesn’t sound nice, doesn’t look nice and it can be associated with unpleasantness. So, I thought – why not?
This was a particularly poor decision. Perhaps unwisely I focussed largely on lentils and a range of other legumes of that ilk. As a consequence, I spent a significant part of the past week suffering from a remarkably explosive case of wind. The lowlight came when I opted for a lentil curry. It turns out that cotton sheets can really be quite flammable. I spent a few nights sleeping in the guest room after that, I can tell you.
I’ve combine my diet with vigorous walking, which means I get to see a lot other vigorous walkers. The funny thing is that none of them ever seem to see the wonder of the world around them, and they certainly don’t smile. I’ve tried smiling back at them, but they just walk faster. This might be because during my brown diet phase the action of walking (and even smiling) did tend to bring on excessive bouts of flatulence that could last for some time. But surely, that wouldn’t put people off?
Then there are the side effects. Unless it’s normal for the world to often go purple. Maybe it is. Maybe that happens to everybody and I never knew. What about past lives flashing before your eyes? Gotta say some of them were quite interesting. Hard to believe there are lifestyles that are more exciting than being a librarian, but there you go. I’m particularly disturbed by a recent tendency to believe what politicians say is true and I’m even finding myself thinking Christopher Pine may not be all that bad. I’m pretty sure that is a seriously unhealthy side-effect.
I’ve either got a deficiency of something, or an excess. I’ve tried reading the names of some of things on packets and you do have to wonder. There’s BHA and BHT, aspartame, tartrazine, pollywollydoodlezine. I’m beginning to think that the food industry doesn’t really want me to know what’s in things. Nah, surely not.
I got breath-tested yesterday. Really. Made me laugh, at first. What a waste of taxpayer’s money, I thought. But then I realised that it was plot. That somebody out there didn’t believe I was clean and had tried to catch me out! I’m going to find out who you are, you know I will!!
One last thought – if we shape our world by what we perceive how does a madman know he’s really mad? And is he really the mad one?
You know the drill. If you want to help me through this and do good things for youth on the streets and people battle drug and alcoholic addiction head to following link and make a donation. It’ll make you feel good and, sure as eggs, it will make a hellofa difference to somebody’s life.
http://my.febfast.org/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=685940&langPref=en-CA
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