You know, pithy sayings or proverbs should be put up against a wall, given a final cigarette and then shot without compunction. I’ll get through this dry spell. What I don’t need is somebody saying something like “Just take it one day at time”. What were they thinking I was going to do? Take all of February in one hit? Or maybe skip time? Now that would a handy power. Maybe there’s an app for it? Imagine that at meetings!! You’d get to the call for apologies, press the app and wham you’re straight to setting the date for the next meeting!! Woo hoo.
Anyway, it’s pretty much been one day at a time since the Big Bang (which is remarkably less raunchy than it sounds). Besides, it’s the minutes that kill you. You can add to the list of bum-itchingly-annoying saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I’m sorry, but after working for 25 years in local government, especially around budget time, the correct saying is “What doesn’t kill you weakens you for the next blow.”
Here’s another one. My gym has a sign on the wall that says “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Yeah right, so what it’s really saying is there’s like a million steps to go and you’ve done exactly one hundredth of buggerall. And it’s not always darkest before the dawn, it’s darkest when you’re tightly sealed in a deep and inescapable pit.
Anyway, back to my pilgrim to inner peace. It turns out the Nimbin was a bl00dy long drive. They say it’s the journey not the destination that counts but that’s just another of those load-of-horse-biscuits sayings. Long journeys are tedious and suck big-time. I think the important part of the word pilgrimage is the middle part – grim. Six long hours, much of which was travelling through 80 km zones that made as much sense as serving pork chops at a barmitzvah. And don’t get me started on caravans. Or drivers with hats.
Still, I made it to Nimbin and I’d hardly got out of the car before a man with a face that looked like a semi-trailer had dumped a truckload of pimples on it was offering me those Asian herbs for inner peace. Also, Nimbin Chicks. I think you probably needed the herbs first before you tackled the young ladies. It may sound unkind but if they were young then the years had not been generous. They looked a bit like victims of Dracula that had been drained of blood but then not bought back to un-life. Skin that colour simply didn’t belong on the living. Perhaps he was talking about young in Jupiter years, which are 11 times longer than earth’s. That looked about right. You know it’s funny how chicks can mean women and birds (of the feathered kind) but it’s actually quite rare to see someone who looks like a cross between both. I said no thank you.
I did ask the man if he knew where I could fine inner peace and he told me about a commune just out of town. They even had their own yogi! Inner peace here I come.
If you’re still reading then you’re clearly a kind and generous person, which makes you a perfect candidate to donate the Febfast cause. Seriously, these organisations really need your support and they do great things. Go ahead and make a difference athttps://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
Anyway, it’s pretty much been one day at a time since the Big Bang (which is remarkably less raunchy than it sounds). Besides, it’s the minutes that kill you. You can add to the list of bum-itchingly-annoying saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I’m sorry, but after working for 25 years in local government, especially around budget time, the correct saying is “What doesn’t kill you weakens you for the next blow.”
Here’s another one. My gym has a sign on the wall that says “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Yeah right, so what it’s really saying is there’s like a million steps to go and you’ve done exactly one hundredth of buggerall. And it’s not always darkest before the dawn, it’s darkest when you’re tightly sealed in a deep and inescapable pit.
Anyway, back to my pilgrim to inner peace. It turns out the Nimbin was a bl00dy long drive. They say it’s the journey not the destination that counts but that’s just another of those load-of-horse-biscuits sayings. Long journeys are tedious and suck big-time. I think the important part of the word pilgrimage is the middle part – grim. Six long hours, much of which was travelling through 80 km zones that made as much sense as serving pork chops at a barmitzvah. And don’t get me started on caravans. Or drivers with hats.
Still, I made it to Nimbin and I’d hardly got out of the car before a man with a face that looked like a semi-trailer had dumped a truckload of pimples on it was offering me those Asian herbs for inner peace. Also, Nimbin Chicks. I think you probably needed the herbs first before you tackled the young ladies. It may sound unkind but if they were young then the years had not been generous. They looked a bit like victims of Dracula that had been drained of blood but then not bought back to un-life. Skin that colour simply didn’t belong on the living. Perhaps he was talking about young in Jupiter years, which are 11 times longer than earth’s. That looked about right. You know it’s funny how chicks can mean women and birds (of the feathered kind) but it’s actually quite rare to see someone who looks like a cross between both. I said no thank you.
I did ask the man if he knew where I could fine inner peace and he told me about a commune just out of town. They even had their own yogi! Inner peace here I come.
If you’re still reading then you’re clearly a kind and generous person, which makes you a perfect candidate to donate the Febfast cause. Seriously, these organisations really need your support and they do great things. Go ahead and make a difference athttps://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
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