I must find something to keep me sane. I’ve read through last year’s febfast emails and it’s pretty clear that the wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead.
Of course, questions still plague me. If people lose weight where does it go to? Or are skinny people just really forgetful? Why are items transported by ships called cargo and items transported by car called shipments? Why is common sense so uncommon and who thought giving up alcohol was a good idea?????
I must not let these uncertainties take control and I need to avoid obsession. This cannot happen again.
I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess.
For some reason I know I had to say that 29 times for it to work.
I’ve decided that the best way to survive this self-inflicted abstinence is to turn to religion. After all religion and self-punishment have a rich, long-standing relationship.
I’m going to avoid all of the mainstream religions because none of them seem to mention the number 29 and I don’t think they’d appreciate me tinkering with things to make that magical number fit in. It’s a funny thing – religions are usually all about loving thy neighbour but suggest that perhaps we could break bread using the left hand and suddenly it’s all vengeful smiting of the heretic. That’s humans for you.
Actually I think I might avoid other non-mainstream religions – woo wee are they fruitier than grandma’s fruit cake with extra fruit. You think the world will be crushed by a giant serpent – there’s a belief structure for you. The world was created from some god’s unmentionables – prayer meetings are held on Thursdays under the bridge. Undergarments are sacred and must be worn on the outside – and high priest should wear theirs on their heads – dial 1300 NUTTER to find a local chapter.
Might just start my own. Disappointingly, Religion for Dummies doesn’t have a chapter on do-it-yourself religion. There’s an opportunity for a lifestyle TV program – Religious Makeover in 60 minutes – or possibly Grand Designs. Or how about un-reality TV – Survivor – Armageddon.
Anyway, I’m going to take the plunge. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess.
Of course, questions still plague me. If people lose weight where does it go to? Or are skinny people just really forgetful? Why are items transported by ships called cargo and items transported by car called shipments? Why is common sense so uncommon and who thought giving up alcohol was a good idea?????
I must not let these uncertainties take control and I need to avoid obsession. This cannot happen again.
I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess.
For some reason I know I had to say that 29 times for it to work.
I’ve decided that the best way to survive this self-inflicted abstinence is to turn to religion. After all religion and self-punishment have a rich, long-standing relationship.
I’m going to avoid all of the mainstream religions because none of them seem to mention the number 29 and I don’t think they’d appreciate me tinkering with things to make that magical number fit in. It’s a funny thing – religions are usually all about loving thy neighbour but suggest that perhaps we could break bread using the left hand and suddenly it’s all vengeful smiting of the heretic. That’s humans for you.
Actually I think I might avoid other non-mainstream religions – woo wee are they fruitier than grandma’s fruit cake with extra fruit. You think the world will be crushed by a giant serpent – there’s a belief structure for you. The world was created from some god’s unmentionables – prayer meetings are held on Thursdays under the bridge. Undergarments are sacred and must be worn on the outside – and high priest should wear theirs on their heads – dial 1300 NUTTER to find a local chapter.
Might just start my own. Disappointingly, Religion for Dummies doesn’t have a chapter on do-it-yourself religion. There’s an opportunity for a lifestyle TV program – Religious Makeover in 60 minutes – or possibly Grand Designs. Or how about un-reality TV – Survivor – Armageddon.
Anyway, I’m going to take the plunge. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess. I must not obsess.