February rolls around again and here I am working for Council and trying not to drink. Doesn’t seem fair. If life really is a box of chocolates why does some turkey persist in sneaking into the box tempting wrapped pieces of well … rich unpleasantness. They even change the shape and colour just to surprise me.To cope with this in the past I’ve tried drinking heavily beforehand (didn’t even have to worry about unforeseen circumstances there, the foreseen ones were a whole bagful of nasty by themselves), using tinfoil hats (they still haven’t caught on except in some very usual quarters, like the Engineers section of Council), starting my own cult that worshipped the number 29 (during the leap year), religion (still got the ark in the back yard) and, last year, finding myself at Nimben (and the self that I found was not pleasant, not pleasant at all).
So, after that series of abject failures what possible options could work for me? Well …. How about some sort of diet? They’re hot topics – and surely so many people believing it’s a good thing must mean it’s true (though another darker side of me thinks “Hmmmm, isn’t that what got Hitler into power?”). Damn it, that’s what I’ll do - diet my way through abstinence.But which one to choose? There’s classic diet’s like the Pritiken Diet and the 5-2 diet seems popular. What the Hell is the Paleo diet? Good lord there’s a colour-based diet! There’s the no-grain diet, the no meat diet, the low fat diet, the “What’s-wrong-with-fat?” diet, the high protein diet, the “Be-careful-about-too-much-protein” diet, high carbs, low carbs, three-carbs-full diets. Basically it looks like I can’t eat anything, or possibly I can eat everything …. Except trans-fats – they do seem to be the @rseholes of the food world. Oh, and household objects too. Apparently eating things like toasters is bad for you all-round. That dark side of me has to wonder “If these diets are right, how come there are so many?” Surely if a diet worked then after a while, like Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, it would be the only one left and we’d all be on it? Yeah, yeah, I do understand food intolerance and that sort of stuff, but how can there be so many diets?
I’ve had enough of looking through the diet books at the Library (which has an excellent collection – damn fine local library). I think I’ll take a punt at all of them, or at least as many as I can fit into a month. Abstinence here we come. What could possibly go wrong?
If you’d like to support me on this path to diet heaven in an alcohol-free environment please visit:
http://my.febfast.org/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=685940&langPref=en-CA
There’s plenty of information there about how the money gets used and let’s face it, tackling the effects of alcohol and drugs, especially on youth, is definitely something society’s grappling with right now.
So, after that series of abject failures what possible options could work for me? Well …. How about some sort of diet? They’re hot topics – and surely so many people believing it’s a good thing must mean it’s true (though another darker side of me thinks “Hmmmm, isn’t that what got Hitler into power?”). Damn it, that’s what I’ll do - diet my way through abstinence.But which one to choose? There’s classic diet’s like the Pritiken Diet and the 5-2 diet seems popular. What the Hell is the Paleo diet? Good lord there’s a colour-based diet! There’s the no-grain diet, the no meat diet, the low fat diet, the “What’s-wrong-with-fat?” diet, the high protein diet, the “Be-careful-about-too-much-protein” diet, high carbs, low carbs, three-carbs-full diets. Basically it looks like I can’t eat anything, or possibly I can eat everything …. Except trans-fats – they do seem to be the @rseholes of the food world. Oh, and household objects too. Apparently eating things like toasters is bad for you all-round. That dark side of me has to wonder “If these diets are right, how come there are so many?” Surely if a diet worked then after a while, like Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, it would be the only one left and we’d all be on it? Yeah, yeah, I do understand food intolerance and that sort of stuff, but how can there be so many diets?
I’ve had enough of looking through the diet books at the Library (which has an excellent collection – damn fine local library). I think I’ll take a punt at all of them, or at least as many as I can fit into a month. Abstinence here we come. What could possibly go wrong?
If you’d like to support me on this path to diet heaven in an alcohol-free environment please visit:
http://my.febfast.org/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=685940&langPref=en-CA
There’s plenty of information there about how the money gets used and let’s face it, tackling the effects of alcohol and drugs, especially on youth, is definitely something society’s grappling with right now.
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