Chris Jones
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The Science of Discworld: Judgement Day by Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen

… it is the nature of Great Big Things that if the money isn’t spent on them, it isn’t spent on smaller scientific projects either. Small projects don’t advance bureaucratic or political careers as effectively as big ones. (JD)

Every scientific statement is provisional. Politicians hate this. How can anyone trust scientists? If new evidence comes along, they change their minds. (JD)

Scientific revolutions don’t change the universe. They change how humans interpret it. (JD)

The senior wizards, eying the chocolate biscuits on the tray brought in by the tea lady, listened with as much attention as could be expected from wizards momentarily afflicted with chocolate starvation. (JD)


 The Patrician was not, on his own admission,  a lover of technical things that spun and, indeed hummed. Nor of unidentifiable squiggles. He saw them as things with which you couldn't negotiate, or argue; you couldn't hang them either, or even creatively torture them. (JD)


Humans can think inhuman thoughts. (JD)

... he knew how to soothe, but he also knew when to twinkle and - more importantly perhaps - he also knew when not (italics) to twinkle. (JD)
 'When in doubt strike first. I am (italics) a librarian, you know.' (JD)
 '... it takes ages to get any real coherence out of them. Alas, this is the curse of academia.' (JD)

… anybody who knew the Dewey decimal system by heart was a person not to panic until the situation had been most carefully considered. (JD)

He was, Marjorie considered, one of the most useful people: a house-trained near-nerd, conscientious to the point of insanity but not any further, apparently. (JD)

‘… the important thing in life is to know exactly who you are. And I’m mine.’ (JD)

There appears to be no such thing as a snack in Unseen University. Indeed, the term was used, but you could probably stave off starvation for a week on a university ‘snack’. (JD)

‘… all things must strive, and because we know how ignorant we actually are then we must strive hardest of all.’ (JD)

‘Those who wish to tell us how we should think, and sometimes that we shouldn’t even think at all, must be ignored.’ (JD)

‘You get all sorts of people in the library, and the librarian gets it all…’ (JD)

She called it vamp-till-ready journalism, hanging back until the public position was overwhelming; in that way nobody would get into trouble with the public, or have nasty letters in their in-tray. (JD)

… any philosophical remark that begins with ‘I reckon’ was probably unlikely to come up with a world-shattering insight or even a new un-shattered one. (JD)

… stupid clever people do much more damage than stupid untutored morons (JD)

Biology isn’t just physics and chemistry with knobs on. It’s a whole new world. (JD)

… centres of learning are almost always referred to as feminine; rather surprising considering the length of time it took for any women to get into one of them for a purpose higher than scrubbing the floors. (JD)

‘Nobody can tell wizards what to do – except of course other wizards! And even then they will argue and find fault, hurrah!’ (JD)

… you didn’t argue with a man with an axe, no matter how wise he seemed. (JD)

‘The search for the truth might be flawed, but the search itself is priceless.’ (JD)

… a librarian must be prepared for any eventuality, including terrorists. When in doubt strike first, making certain no valuable volumes are harmed …. (JD)

… policemen always looked rather out of place in the presence of literature. (JD)

‘Politicians only read books they have written, or those of colleagues they suspect might have mentioned them in their text.’ (JD)
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