… a wizard could trust you because of the hellish future he could unleash on you if his trust was betrayed. (UA)
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She was, of course, beautiful. You seldom saw a goddess portrayed as ugly. This probably had something to do with their ability to strike people down instantly. (UA)
The bringer of bad news is never popular, especially when it's on an empty plate. (UA)
'Three cheeses isn't a choice, it's a penance!' (UA)
It's a terrible thing to be nearly sixteen and the wrong species. (GG)
'... She Reminded Him Of Lela The Volcano Goddess, Who Smokes All The Time Because The God Of Rain Has Rained On Her Lava,’ the golem went on.
‘Yes, but women always complain about that sort of thing,’ said Moist. (GP) One thing Vimes was learning fast was the natural vindictiveness of old ladies, who had no sense of fair play when it came to fighting soldiers; give a granny a spear and a hole to jab it through, and young men on the other side were in big trouble. (NW)
Mention has already been made of an attempt to inject a little honesty into reporting on the Disc, and how poets and bards were banned on pain of - well, pain - from going on about babbling brooks and rosy-fingered dawn and could only say for example, that a face had launched a thousand ships if they were able to produce certified dockyard accounts. (LF)
What harm can it do to find out? It’s a question that has left bruises down the centuries, even more that ‘It can’t hurt if I only take one’ and ‘It’s all right if you only do it standing up.' (MM)
When people were in serious trouble they went to a witch.*
*Sometimes, of course, to say, ‘Please stop doing it.' (CJ) 'How can a man six inches high train a bird like that?’ she asked as the buzzard circled again for height.
‘Ach, all it takes is a wee drop o’kindness, mistress,’ said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. ‘Really?’ ‘Aye, an’ a big dollop o’ cruelty.' (WFM) Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying:‘Learn, guys.' (GO)
It would be a very accurate historian who could pinpoint the precise day when the Japanese changed from being fiendish automatons who copied everything from the West, to becoming skilled and cunning engineers who would leave the West standing. But the Wasabi had been designed on that one confused day, and combined the traditional bad points of most Western cars with a host of innovative disasters the avoidance of which had made firms like Honda and Toyota what they are today.
Newt had never actually seen another one on the road, despite his best efforts. For years, and without much conviction, he’d enthused to his friends about its economy and efficiency in the desperate hope that one of them might buy one, because misery loves company. (GO) 'It’s not being ill at all. If lots of bad things have happened to you it’s healthy to be depressed,’ said Johnny. ‘That’s sense, isn’t it? What with the business going down the drain, and Dad pushing off, and Mum just sitting around smoking all the time and everything. I mean, going around smiling and saying, “Oh, it’s not so bad” – that would be mental.' (JB)
'I bin askin’ questions.’
‘So are we.’ ‘I bin askin’ questions more louder,’ said the troll. ‘I get lotsa answers. Sometimes I am getting’ answers to questions I ain’t even asked yet.' (Th) 'What’s the worst they can do to me?’
‘Rip off your head, grind you to mince and make soup from your bones, sir,’ said Detritus promptly. (Th) 'Lack of absence from this place will undoubtedly result in metal entering the body.' (TG)
... no one wakes up a 300lb orangutan (twice at least) ... (TG)
Darktan waited for his moment…
…and saw it, and lunged and bit hard. Jacko’s eyes crossed. A piece of Jacko that was very private and of interest only to Jacko and any lady dogs he might happen to meet was suddenly a little ball of pain. (AM) Sticks and stones may break my bones, he thought. He was vaguely aware that there was a second half to the saying, but he’d never bothered because the first half always occupied all his attention. (IT)
'I don’t want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax,’ said Mrs. Gogol.
‘That’s good,’ said Granny. ‘I don’t want you to hurt me either.' (WA) ... Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it’d save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful. (LL)
The Patrician was not a man you shook a finger at unless you wanted to end up being able to count only to nine. (GG)
Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse, the reason being, you were alive to suffer it. (WS)
What he wanted was a couple of cool beers, a cold bath and a change of clothing; it probably wouldn’t make him feel better, but it would at least make feeling awful more enjoyable. (S)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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