There was this to be said about the Smell of Foul Ole Ron, an odour so intense that it took on a personality of its own and fully justified the capital letter: after the initial shock the organs of smell just gave up and shut down, as if no more able to comprehend the thing than an oyster can comprehend the ocean. (TT)
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'... being a short dog in deep snow is not good for the ol’ wossnames ..' (FE)
'They always give me bath salts,’ complained Nobby. ‘And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can’t think why, ‘cos it’s not as if I hardly every has a bath. You’d think they’d take the hint, wouldn’t you?' (H)
'Was there anything else on the dinner menu?’
‘Vole-au-vents and Cream of Rat,’said Gimlet. ‘All hygienically prepared.’ ‘How do you mean, “hygienically prepared”?’ said Carrot. ‘The chef is under strict orders to wash his hands afterwards.’ The assembled dwarfs nodded. This was certainly pretty hygienic. You didn’t want people going around with ratty hands. (FC) 'Baths is unhygienic,’ Granny declared. ‘You know I’ve never agreed with baths. Sittin’ around in your own dirt like that. (WA)
People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water’s fresh and drinkable, and in
all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory. (RM) The University sanitarium wasn’t very big, and was seldom used. Wizards tended to be either in rude health, or dead. The only medicine they generally required was an antacid formula and a dark room until lunch. (MP)
'A few twenty-mile runs and the Dean’d be a different man.’
‘Well, yes,’ said the Bursar. ‘He’d be dead.' (MP) 'That would be the senior masters, Master,’ said the Bursar. ‘I would say they are supremely fit, myself.’
‘Fit? The Dean looks like a man who’s swallered a bed!’ ‘Ah, but Master,’ said the Bursar smiling indulgently,‘the word ‘fit’, as I understand it, means ‘appropriate to a purpose,’ and I would say the body of the Dean is supremely appropriate to the purpose of sitting around all day and eating big heavy meals.' (MP) Ankh-Morpork did not have many hospitals. All the Guilds maintained their own sanitariums, and there were a few public ones run by the odder religious organizations, like the Balancing Monks, but by and large medical assistance was nonexistent and people had to die inefficiently, without the aid of doctors. It was generally thought that the existence of cures encouraged slackness and was in any case probably against Nature’s way. (GG)
Meat is extremely bad for the digestive system,’ said Magrat. ‘If you could see inside your colon you’d be horrified.'
‘I think I would,’ muttered Hwel. (WS) It was one of the few sorrows of Granny Weatherwax’s life that, despite all her efforts, she’d arrived at the peak of her career with a complexion like a rosy apple and all her teeth. No amount of charms could persuade a wart to take root on her handsome if slightly equine features, and vast intakes of sugar only served to give her boundless energy. A wizard she’d consulted had explained it was on account of her having a metabolism, which at least allowed her to feel vaguely superior to Nanny Ogg, who she suspected had never even seen one. (WS)
An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common household ingredients and put a match to them.
Funny thing about eyebrows, he mused. You never really noticed them until they’d gone. (M) Horse dung made a good fuel, but the Horse People had a lot to learn about air conditioning, starting with what it meant. (LF)
'Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead…' (LF)
A chocolate you did not want to eat does not count as chocolate. This discovery is from the same branch of culinary physics that determined that food eaten while walking contains no calories. (TOT)
At his club a gentleman could find the kind of food he’d got used to at school, like spotted dick, jam roly-poly and the perennial favourite, stodge and custard. Vitamins are eaten by wives. (TOT)
‘It’s stew. Take it or leave it. Three customers this morning have done both.' (MP)
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean They aren't out to get you. (Strata)
'Who’s the fat girl on now? Got a backside on her like a bowling ball on a short seesaw.' (SLF)
Detritus was comforting Brick, who’d not picked a good day to go cold turkey, it was turning out to be frozen roc. (Th)
'He seemed very cheerful, anyway.’
‘It’s the dried frog pills, he eats them by the handful,’ said the Senior Wrangler dismissively. ‘I say, why don’t -’ ‘Oh dear. I hope they’re not addictive.’ ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t keep on eating them if they were addictive,’ said the Senior Wrangler. (H) 'Smoke?’
‘That stuff can kill you,’ said the troll. ‘Yes. But not today.' (TB) 'Well, Nobby, you’re what I might call a career soldier, right?’
‘‘S’right, Fred.’ ‘How many dishonourable discharges have you had?’ ‘Lots,’ said Nobby, proudly. ‘But I always puts a poultice on ‘em.' (MA) Most wizards would die rather than take exercise, and did, but Ridcully had the rude health of a bear and only marginally better interpersonal skills. Despite his quite considerable if erratic erudition, at heart he was a man who’d rather smack someone around the ear than develop a complicated argument. (TG)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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