Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'. (LC)
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When he was a boy, Ponder Stibbons had imagined that wizards would be powerful democrats-gods able to change the whole world at the flick of a finger, and then he'd grown up and found that they were tiresome old men who worries about the state of their feet and, in harm's way, would even bicker about the origin of the phrase 'in harm's way'.
It had never struck him that evolution works in all kinds of ways. There were still quite deep scars in old buildings that showed what happened when you had the other kind of wizard. (LC) 'There are different ways to eat people ...' (N)
'You didn't want to be a warrior?'
'Never. It takes a woman nine months to make a new human. Why waste her effort?' (N) 'I don't think you can fight a whole universe, sir!'
'It's the prerogative of every life form, Mr Stibbons!' (DW) Cunning in younger wizards is not automatically applauded in their elders. (DW)
... most human food with the possible exception of the custard pie has never been designed for offensive purposes. (NOC)
'I love the idea of giving in without a fight. I've fought for ten years and giving in without a fight is what I've always wanted to do.' (J)
Attacking a dangerous enemy who isn't there is one of the more attractive forms of warfare ... (J)
... history was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started to follow bad orders. (J)
People live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work every day, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear. (J)
The senior wizards gathered round, ready to help those less fortunate than themselves remain that way. (H)
Sometimes you needed a bastard. (FC)
But Magrat, like this, frightened him more than the elves. It was like being charged by sheep. (LL)
There are some people that would whistle 'Yankee Doodle' in a crowded bar in Atlanta.
Even these people would consider it tactless to mention the word 'billygoat' to a troll. (LL) There were a large number of ranks in the armies of the Empire and many of them were untranslatable. Three Pink Pig and Five White Fang were, loosely speaking, privates, and not just because they were pale, vulnerable and inclined to curl up and hide when danger threatened. (IT)
'What do you think this is homeopathic warfare? The smaller your side the more likely you are to win?' (IT)
The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly. Had they bothered to learn to read and acquire some history books they'd have learned about the uncertain merits of things like scythes and pitchforks when used in battle against crossbows and broadswords. (SM)
The period of time it takes a pictsie to go from normal to mad fighting mood is so tiny it can't be measured on the smallest clock. (WFM)
'I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire,' said Miss Tick. 'There may be no survivors.' (WFM)
‘Dwarfs and trolls get along like a house on fires’, said Nobby. ‘Ever been in a burning house, miss?’ (MA)
Going and fighting when you're a real person isn't like folksongs! In real life you die! In folksongs you just have to remember to keep one finger in your ear and how to get to the next chorus! In real life no-one goes whack-fol-a-diddle-di-do-sing-too-rah-li-ay! (LL)
Wobbler didn’t know how to fight, but he did know how to weigh. (JB)
‘Everything happens because things have happened before. Stupid.’ (SG)
You’re average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There’s a conflict of dominant personalities. There’s a group of ringleaders without a ring. There’s the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is ‘Don’t do what you will, do what I say’. The natural size of a coven is one. (WA)
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