‘What? Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’
‘Basically, yes,’ said Nanny, contriving to suggest that this was the whole gamut of human experience.
‘And that’s opera?’
‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff. But mostly it’s stout or stabbin’.' (Ma)
Complete collection of Terry Pratchett quotes by subject and cross-referenced
'Well, basically there are two sorts of opera,’ said Nanny, who also had the true witch’s ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. ‘There’s your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like “Oh oh oh, I am dyin’, oh, I am dyin’, oh, oh, oh, that’s what I’m doin’” and there’s your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes “Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!” although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That’s basically all of opera, reely.’
‘What? Either dyin’ or drinkin’ beer?’ ‘Basically, yes,’ said Nanny, contriving to suggest that this was the whole gamut of human experience. ‘And that’s opera?’ ‘We-ll…there might be some other stuff. But mostly it’s stout or stabbin’.' (Ma)
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'You remember?’
Vimes tried to. It wasn’t easy. He was vaguely aware that he drank to forget. What made it rather pointless was that he couldn’t remember what it was he was forgetting any more. In the end he just drank to forget about drinking. (GG) Now he remembered, with a shudder, some of the great wheezes he’d had on similar occasions. Spaghetti and custard, that’d been a good one. Deep-fried peas, that’d been another triumph. And then there’d been the time
when it had seemed a really good idea to eat some flour and yeast and then drink some warm water, because he’d run out of bread and after all that was what the stomach saw, wasn’t it? The thing about late-night cookery was that it made sense at the time. It always has some logic behind it. It just wasn’t the kind of logic you’d use around midday. (LC) The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn’t climb out of one. (P)
The dwarfs are Ankh-Morpork’s largest non-human ethnic group. They are acquisitive, argumentative and belligerent when drunk, and therefore fit seamlessly into city society. (PP)
By now, if it had been a dwarf bar, the floor would be sticky with beer, the air would be full of flying quaff, and people would be singing. They’d probably be singing the latest dwarf tune, Gold, Gold, Gold, or one of the old favourites, like Gold, Gold, Gold, or the all-time biggie, Gold,Gold, Gold. (FC)
All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming ‘Arrrrrrgh!’ and axing their legs off at the knee. (GG)
... the man had reached the ‘jolly drunk’ stage and was singing the kind of song that’s hilarious to rugby players and children aged under eleven ... (GP)
‘And are your men sober and clean-living?’ the woman demanded.
‘Whenever no alternative presents itself ma’am,’ said Vimes. (NW) 'Dem diplomatics all want you to come for drinky-poos an’ stories about chickens,’ the troll added helpfully.
‘Cocktails, I think you’ll find,’ said Vimes ... (FE) ‘I feel a bit…odd,’ said Agnes.
‘Ah, could be the drink,’ said Nanny. ‘I haven’t had any!’ ‘No? Well, there’s the problem right there.' (CJ) Not many people ever tasted Nanny Ogg’s home-made brandy; it was technically impossible. Once it encountered the warmth of the human mouth it immediately turned into fumes. You drank it via your sinuses. (CJ)
The wording began:
‘You are cordially invited…’ …and was in that posh runny writing that was hard to read but ever so official. Nanny Ogg grinned and tucked the card back on the mantelpiece. She liked the idea of ‘cordially’. It had a rich, a thick and above all an alcoholic sound. (CJ) 'So now we know,’said Archchancellor Rincewind. ‘We’ve got to keep you just drunk enough so that Dibbler's pies sound tasty, but not so drunk that it causes lasting brain damage.’
‘That’s a very narrow range we’ve got there,’ said the Dean. (LC) A flash of inspiration struck him with all the force and brilliance that ideas have when they’re travelling through beer. (LC)
'I think maybe I’d better make you up the cure for drinking too much beer, mate.’
‘What’s the cure?’ ‘More beer.' (LC) ‘I’ll have a pint of Chardonnay, please.’
‘You takin’ the piss?’ ‘No, I’d like to leave it here-' (LC) It’s a sad and terrible thing that high-born folk really have thought that the servants would be totally fooled if spirits were put into decanters that were cunningly labelled backwards. And also throughout history the more politically conscious butler has taken it on trust, and with rather more justification, that his employers will not notice if the whisky is topped up with eniru. (H)
Distillation of alcohol was illegal in Lancre. On the other hand, King Verence had long ago given up any idea of stopping a witch doing something she wanted to do, so merely required Nanny Ogg to keep her still somewhere it wasn’t obvious. She thoroughly approved of the prohibition, since this gave her an unchallenged market for her own product, known wherever men fell backwards into a ditch as ‘suicider'. (Ma)
Ridcully smacked his lips loudly.
‘Ah, we certainly know what goes into good beer in Ankh-Morpork,’ he said. The wizards nodded. They certainly did. That’s why they were drinking gin and tonic. (SM) Klatchian coffee has an even bigger sobering effect than an unexpected brown envelope from the tax man. In fact, coffee enthusiasts take the precaution of getting thoroughly drunk before touching the stuff, because Klatchian coffee takes you back through sobriety and, if you’re not careful, out the other side, where the mind of man should not go. (MA)
'This is damn good wine,’ she said, picking up another bottle. ‘What did you say it’s called?’ She peered at the label. ‘Chateau Maison? Chat-eau ... that’s foreign for cat’s water, you know, but that’s only their way, I know it ain’t real cat’s water. Real cat’s water is sharper.' (LL)
It wasn’t exactly whiskey, and it wasn’t exactly gin, but it was exactly 90 proof, and a great comfort during those worrying moments that sometimes occurred around 3 a.m. when you woke up and forgot who you were. After a glass of the clear liquid you still didn’t remember who you were, but that was all right now because you were someone else anyway. (LL)
‘“Every bottle matured for up to seven minutes”,’quoted Colon. ‘“Ha’a drop afore ye go”, it says on the label. Damn right, too. I had a drop once, and I went all day.' (GG)
In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there’s anti-light. That’s not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pass through darkness and out the other side. On the same basis, a state of knurdness isn’t like sobriety. By comparison, sobriety is like having a bath in cotton wool. Knurdness strips away all illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normally spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. Then after they’ve screamed a bit, they make sure they never get knurd again. (S)
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