'You sir, are no gentleman,’ said Rust.
‘I knew there was something about me that I liked.’ (FE) And he was pretty sure that there was no way you could get a cross between a human and a sheep. If there was, people would definitely have found out by now, especially in the more isolated rural districts. (LC)
The study of genetics on the Disc had failed at an early stage, when wizards tried the experimental crossing of such well known subjects as fruit flies and sweet peas. Unfortunately they didn’t quite grasp the fundamentals, and the resultant offspring - a sort of green bean thing that buzzed - led a short sad life before being eaten by a passing spider. (S)
'I used to be good at tiddley-rats* when I was a nipper ...'
*A famous Ankh-Morpork gutter game, second only to Dead Rat conkers. Turd Races in the gutter appear to have died out, despite an attempt to take them upmarket with the name poosticks. (Th) Vimes had never got on with any game more complex than darts. Chess in particular had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could’ve been a republic in a dozen moves. (Th)
Troll gambling is even simpler than Australian gambling. One of the most popular games is One Up, which consists of throwing a coin in the air and betting on whether it will come down again. (SM)
Snibril took each of them by the shoulder. 'Anyway,' he said, 'just because you're sworn enemies doesn't mean you can't be friends, does it?' (CP)
…the real purpose of a coven was to meet friends, even if they were friends simply because they were really the only people you could talk to freely as they had the same problems and would understand what you were moaning about. (W)
…if you were friendly to Granny Weatherwax she tested you to see how friendly you would stay. Everything about Granny Weatherwax was a test. (W)
‘... spies?' I thought we were chums with the Low King!’
'Of course we are,’ said Vetinari. ‘And the more we know about each other, the friendlier we shall remain. We’d hardly bother to spy on our enemies. What would be the point?’ (Th) '... when we talk to you, do you want somone to be on your side?'
‘Yes, please. Everyone,’ said Brick promptly. (Th) There are many reasons for being friends with someone. The fact that he’s pointing a deadly weapon at you is among the top four. (LC)
'Dreg?' said Angua.
‘A warlike desert tribe,’ said Carrot. ‘Very fierce. Honourable, though. They say that if a D’reg is your friend he’s your friend for the rest of your life.’ ‘And if he’s not your friend?’ ‘That’s about five seconds.’ (J) It always amazed Vimes how Nobby got along with practically everyone. It must, he’d decided, have something to do with the common denominator. In the entire world of mathematics there could be no denominator as common as
Nobby. (GG) 'But what do you want to sacrifice us for?’ asked Twoflower. ‘You hardly know us!’
‘That’s rather the point isn’t it? It’s not very good manners to sacrifice a friend.’ (COM) Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular. (WFM)
‘You never get bad fortunes in cookies, ever noticed that? They never say stuff like: “Oh dear, things’re going to be really bad.” I mean, they’re never misfortune cookies.’
Vimes lit a cigar and shook the match to put it out. ‘That, Corporal, is because of one of the fundamental driving forces of the universe.’ ‘What? Like, people who read fortune cookies are the lucky ones?’ said Nobby. ‘No. Because people who sell fortune cookies want to go on selling them.’ (FC) Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent for it. It was a different matter if people who ought to know better did it, though. She considered that the future was a frail enough thing at best, and if people looked at it hard they changed it. Granny had some quite complex theories about space and time and why they shouldn’t be tinkered with, but fortunately good fortune-tellers were rare and anyway people preferred bad fortune-tellers, who could be relied upon for the correct dose of uplift and optimism.
Granny knew all about bad fortune-telling. It was harder than the real thing. You needed a good imagination. (ER) 'I think these are quite bright humans, Thing. I pointed to my mouth and they understood I was hungry.'
'Ah,' said Thing. 'Take me to your larder.' (Wings) Little dishes of strange wobbly stuff tasting of pink turn up in nearly every meal on all aeroplanes. No one knows why. There's probably some sort of special religious reason. (Wings)
'You're not supposed to eat like that,' said Gurder severely. 'You're not supposed to shove it all in your mouth and then cut off what won't fit.' (Wings)
If you meet a vegan it's bad form to give them the famous four-fingered V sign and say 'Live long and prosper.' That's for vulcans. Vegans are the ones with the paler complexions who can't disable people by touching them gently on the neck. (UC)
Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self. (Th)
No trouble is too much if it saves some excellent chefs from extinction. (DW)
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The world has lost Sir Terry, and it's so much the poorer for that. Vale Sir Terry. Categories
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