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Captain's Log #5 2011

5/11/2014

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All I have left for company are my thoughts and, honestly, I’m not sure if they’re really listening.

Do you know what’s faster than the speed of light?  Royalty.  Every time one of them dies a new one just pops up straight away.  It’s true.  “The king is dead, long live the king”.  See instantaneously there’s a new king.  Just like that.  On her day Queen Liz could beat Usain Bolt hands down.  They didn’t call her the Royal Flash for nothing (well, for that and the surprisingly revealing period of her life when she misinterpreted advice on getting a bit more public exposure – fine buxom lass she was though).

If wishes were horses I reckon we’d be facing a worldwide manure crisis.

Food worries me.  Do you think milk is mooed altering?  And what about four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie?  One right-royal, sadist, bird-hating @rsehole made that recipe up.

Speaking of food does anybody see anything wrong with this picture?  The same country that gets cookie monster to cut down on cookies for setting a bad dietary example has invented deep-fried coke (goes all stringy and crunchy and it’s packed with fatty goodness and sugar), and the turducken (a turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken – yep it really, really exists).

Do you know the hardest game to play by yourself?  Tug-o-war.  Doesn’t matter which side you’re on it still sucks.

Does the ability to realise you’re insane prove that you’re not?  I sure hope so.

As I wander along the water’s edge watching the fish dancing across the bottom of the lake (wearing little tap-shoes by the look of it – it turns out soles do have shoes) I can’t help feeling that though I have no real idea what this life and living thing is all about that my job here is done.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk signing off.

Live long and prosper.

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    Chris Jones

    This blog is a mixture of experiences, light moments, humour, ponderings and observations. Which pretty much sums up living.

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