I have seen the light and it is green, but that’s only natural when you find your inner peas.
It all started after the stoning ceremony that was blessedly light on rocks and was really more of a smoking ceremony, involving local herbs. Since then everything has been green, with the exception of a strange purple period.
And it turns out that my commune companions do eat more than just pumpkins – they collect these funny little mushrooms. That was about the time of the purple period.
They say nothing in the English language rhymes with orange or purple but I bet they’re wrong. Some poor misguided parents somewhere will have decided to give their children unique names. “And these are our kids – Florange and Durple”. Cruel.
The commune did a lot of naval gazing for a while but then the navy took exception to it so we keep a low profile now.
I met the yogi the other day. It was a hard slog through the bush, particularly as we seemed to wander around in circles for some time, saying wow and admiring the orange-coloured trees (that’s right there was a break-out of orange as well). And suddenly, there he was sitting up in tree, chewing orange gum leaves. The yogi bear.
The yogi spoke to me. He called me Boo Boo. He asked me many deep and meaningful questions about life like ‘Why do brussell sprouts exist? And shouldn’t we just send them back to the Belgians?’ and ‘Is the hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?”
He asked me if sugar-coating the truth was just a plot by dentists to get more business?
And as I grappled with these problems he introduced me to his gu-roo – a giant eastern green kangaroo. The gu-roo asked still more questions. Why jump in the shower when standing still works just as easily? And why must people a take a bath when it is fine just where it is?
And then, as my mind was awhirl, they began to speak such truths. The yogi said “Ask yourself not how much wood does a woodchuck chuck, but rather why does the stupid animal bother to do it in the first place?”
I had never thought of that!
And then he asked why do we give used-car salesman such a bad rap when we’re happy to believe research funded by mining companies on why burning fossil fuels doesn’t impact on global warming?
It did make me wonder why you don’t read more stories about mining magnates building their mansions on beautiful low-lying pacific islands.
And then the gu-roo said “Hell is other people.”
And I thought, of course. That explains Reece Mastin.
And finally, the yogi said “If life sucks, make sure you’re a vampire.”
The truth swept over me in a green wave, with purple and orange bits thrown in. I could control my own world, find inner peas and still stay sane.
I thanked the yogi, who was certainly smarter than the average bear, bowed to the gu-roo and followed a group of passing hobbits back to our hobbit-hole.
At last things were making sense.
If you would like to donate to the Let’s Make the World a Better Place for Hobbits Fund please head to:
https://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
It all started after the stoning ceremony that was blessedly light on rocks and was really more of a smoking ceremony, involving local herbs. Since then everything has been green, with the exception of a strange purple period.
And it turns out that my commune companions do eat more than just pumpkins – they collect these funny little mushrooms. That was about the time of the purple period.
They say nothing in the English language rhymes with orange or purple but I bet they’re wrong. Some poor misguided parents somewhere will have decided to give their children unique names. “And these are our kids – Florange and Durple”. Cruel.
The commune did a lot of naval gazing for a while but then the navy took exception to it so we keep a low profile now.
I met the yogi the other day. It was a hard slog through the bush, particularly as we seemed to wander around in circles for some time, saying wow and admiring the orange-coloured trees (that’s right there was a break-out of orange as well). And suddenly, there he was sitting up in tree, chewing orange gum leaves. The yogi bear.
The yogi spoke to me. He called me Boo Boo. He asked me many deep and meaningful questions about life like ‘Why do brussell sprouts exist? And shouldn’t we just send them back to the Belgians?’ and ‘Is the hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?”
He asked me if sugar-coating the truth was just a plot by dentists to get more business?
And as I grappled with these problems he introduced me to his gu-roo – a giant eastern green kangaroo. The gu-roo asked still more questions. Why jump in the shower when standing still works just as easily? And why must people a take a bath when it is fine just where it is?
And then, as my mind was awhirl, they began to speak such truths. The yogi said “Ask yourself not how much wood does a woodchuck chuck, but rather why does the stupid animal bother to do it in the first place?”
I had never thought of that!
And then he asked why do we give used-car salesman such a bad rap when we’re happy to believe research funded by mining companies on why burning fossil fuels doesn’t impact on global warming?
It did make me wonder why you don’t read more stories about mining magnates building their mansions on beautiful low-lying pacific islands.
And then the gu-roo said “Hell is other people.”
And I thought, of course. That explains Reece Mastin.
And finally, the yogi said “If life sucks, make sure you’re a vampire.”
The truth swept over me in a green wave, with purple and orange bits thrown in. I could control my own world, find inner peas and still stay sane.
I thanked the yogi, who was certainly smarter than the average bear, bowed to the gu-roo and followed a group of passing hobbits back to our hobbit-hole.
At last things were making sense.
If you would like to donate to the Let’s Make the World a Better Place for Hobbits Fund please head to:
https://febfast2013.everydayhero.com/au/chris-jones
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